I could cry in comfort.

So, I am so fucking tired of life. I am so tired of fucking trying. I try my fucking hardest and all i get are fucking 3's and B's. And especially in my freaking journalism and english classes. Pissed me off so much. I didn't expect to get B's in my favorite classes. God, I'm so freaking tired of trying. And I had so much shit to do today. & I need a fucking job, like theres no fucking tommorow. & my mom always says how i'm not going to manage getting a job because i'm not organized and stuff like that, but still. I'm so freaking tired, I need a job to distract me. & freaking majano, I'm just so stressed and then we got into this conversation about insecurities. & idk, all this shit. Then we fought for some reason, I don't know why. But I'm tired, and I just want to cry. And I need a freaking de-stressatiser. I just want to drown in my misery. I want to write. I want to escape all this stuff and disappear for a while. I don't know. It's not that I don't want to hang out with majano, its just I'm tired. What do you expect? And I'm so fucking tired that I'm trying to justify the fact that I'm not in UC anymore. (better education, shit like that) but I can't. & It's annoying the hell out of me. I want to disappear. I want to cry. Just so its all out of my system. I hate apologizing. I hate apologizing with a passion. I know it shows that I'm a stubborn coward, but I hate it. I know I'm indecisive. I know I'm not going to have a good future. I know what's wrong with me. But at the same time i Don't. It's bothering me, ever so much.

I wish they didn't sleep with me so I could cry in comfort instead of worrying about when they wake up.