LOST. LOST. nothing but lost.

i'm so fucking lost. i'm so irritated. Annoyed. I hate myself so much. I hate that I'm a fuck up like my dad. I hate that i'm indecisive like my dad. I hate that every quality i have just reaks of him. & he says that I'm like my mom. I'm not. I'm not emotionally stable. I'm not persistent. I'm not clean. I'm not anything. I am just what I am. A Fuck. Up. I hate myself. Everyone knows what they're going to do when they get out of high school, but I don't. Am I going no where? Am I just following this narrow road to the end of my life? I don't know who I am. I don't know who I want to be. I don't know how to overcome anything. I am a small tiny child in a corner during a thunderstorm. I just want help. But there is no help. Just me. By myself. How do people see the good stuff? All I see are flaws. Stitched together. That's all I am. Why am I lost all the time. Why can't I ever find my way? Nights wasted crying when I could be living. All these stupid, stupid regrets. All these stupid, stupid thoughts. Where am I going? What am I going to do? Nothing. Who am I going to be when I grow up? Nobody. Nobody at all. Because I'm not good at anything, at all. I'm not a good writer. There are a million hundred better writers than me. My sister is even a better writer than me. My sister makes me mom more proud then me. Why does it feel like nobody wants me? Because that's all I am. A screw-up. I never stick to what I want to do. All I'm good at is talking about myself. I'm an egotistical son of a bitch. With low self esteem and no confidence whatsoever. A face in a crowded room. Nothing but a face. Why do I feel so lonely? Lonely. I'm so selfish, aren't I? I have friends. Some people don't even have families. Flaws. Flaws. Flaws.

Just another face in a crowded room. Nothing but a face.