when is enough - enough?

"we can't seem to get past how are yous,
we're not talking like we used to."

two years, one month, seventeen days. two years. two years. two years. tell me, are we skipping to the married couple stage where we seem tired, unhappy, and bored? tell me are you bored with me? all these mood swings, these random fights i pick with you, these inevitable temper tantrums i throw - so i ask you, can you handle me? yes, you say. yes, i think i can, you say. but i shake my head. no, no, i know you can't. you leave me hanging on this thread, pulling me up only when convenient. i fell in love with you when we didn't talk for three days and i talked to you and you were still there and i was like man she's always gonna be there, you say. please don't take advantage of me, i say. i'll try not to, you say. maybe it's in my imagination, that you only talk to me when convenient. we are both getting busy, and we're both drifting. changing. changing. why do things like to change on me when everythings alright? when everything seems to reach it's peak, something has to change. i miss the old times. the old late night conversations, love/hate relationship, teasing each other, missing each other, saying words we mean but still keeping our guard up selves. why, why. i've already matured. you met me when i was in the process of maturing. have i changed since freshman year? have i? i wonder. you're changing because all this stuff is helping to shape the man you're going to be. but tell me, does that mean that you're not supposed to be with me? maybe this drifting thing is a sign? maybe i'm supposed to help you become the man you'll be and you'll help me become the woman i'll be. maybe we're not supposed to be together. i heard soulmates are just supposed to shape who you are. i don't quite know how to say anything i dont know what to think. my heart aches. for these unknown reason. empty promises. unanswered questions.

where are we going? where. all this time wasted, moping, depressed, just sitting around crying about senseless things. all this time wasted fighting. fighting about nothing. i wish nothing could change into sweet nothings, whispered into your ear like they say in the movies. not everyone could be happy. not everyone gets what they want. why? life is like that.

so tell me, when two people love each other but can't get their shit together, when is enough - enough ?

Queeee.

I am way too emotionally for my own good. I cried today because i got a virus in the only working computer in the house. I feel like i made another bad impression on majanos family. And i feel bad because i really want them to like me yknow? And i hope we stay together forever but thinking realistically, thats highly unlikely. Being one in a million couples to last a lifetime together is a rather ridiculous thought. Im typing on my ithouch so excus any typos. And excuse the random trailing houghts becaus iv got at least a million and a half things on my mind right now. My eyes are killing me, im on spring break. I loved friday where me and majano just chilled. Well obgiously we got the physical things out of the way frst, then we chilled. I giggled mad much, like a giddy high aschool girl in love. Ever wonder wha being in love really is like? I wondEr if im in love. Thatd be great. I do lovmajano. I do. He gets me on ways i dont get myslf. I sometimes still get jealos of uc kids but its going away alot now. Im content as to where i am, just gotta be content to who i am. Gota find myself. Lost like always. But ive got bigger things to worry bot then honor roll dinners. Ive got stuff like lving life, loving my family, being in love, and finding happiness to worry about. Who kmows maybe ive got all thE answers.