Whackwhackwhakc.

So, vent a little bit. Stressing hella much lately. been keeping up with the grades and everything. anyway i broke down today 'cause i was so tired and stressed and i don't know. whack. Anyways my mom was yelling at me asking me what's wrong and I had a feeling it had to do with majano. I think majano triggers my an'ecks'iety attacks. Like I only had two. This is my second. But Eeh. Like I think it's bad. I need to stop thinking about stuff so much. About the relationship yaddayadda. But anyway. She asked me if I had se'cks'. and Like, majanos got it in a couple times but like, we haven't had full on se'cks' so I told her no. That's true right? I hope so. Anyways, I don't want to have full on secks anytime soon because I feel like it's giving myself completely to him? I mean, obviously I'm not a virgin cause he's got it in like 3 times? or more I'm pretty sure. But only single digits. But yeah, but no full on secks. Cause it feels like I'm going to feel completely vulnerable. & I'm not ready. And i guess that's why my mom doesn't want me to have secks? Bad ass grammer in this blog. queer. anyways, yeahs. But I feel bad cause he gets condoms? And we never finish cause I'm scared. & agh. i don't know. I'm okay with quickies but not full on secks. Or Making Love. Or Fucking. I can't have an hour secks. But my hormones want to ? But then I can't cause I'm not mentally ready I guess?

Agh. I'm so confused lately. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.